For those who wonder. . . . .
Today I recieved an email from a contact at one of the churches that hosted me sometime in the last year.
I'm using it as a dicussion starter for today's blog post. I realize that some of the people who read this blog are all over the world and in almost 20 States in this country. Although some of you may not have heard my latest news, the word is spreading, as is evidenced by this email:
I had heard that you have left the mission field. I am writing to ask if you had returned to Israel and your reason for leaving the mission field? If you do not wish to share this information with me, I understand. Just know that you are still in my prayers. God Bless.
It's not the only feedback I've had lately. I've been messaged on facebook, called by friends, and had my immediate family approached by other people who are concerned about me.
I resigned from AGWM in November. It was my choice to resign, but it was the Spirit who lead me to make that decision. While people often question the "real" reason that I resigned, there is only ONE reason--that the Lord said it was time to do so.
For the past few months I had been feeling that God was going to take me in a different direction. It bothered me for weeks. I went through a struggle of not being sure it was truly God's voice I was hearing. I didn't want to mistake my own thoughts for God's; neither did I want to be tempted away from God's will by the Enemy. I fasted; I prayed. I tested and questioned the feeling I had for a long time. To my own shame, I admit that, for a while, I was too afraid of other people's reactions to talk to anyone about this matter. I regret now that I didn't have enough faith in the people of God, because I really needed counsel. I was able to talk to my immediate family and my pastor, but other than that, I was afraid.
I went to Phoenix for a conference on women in ministry, and I was desperate to hear from God. I'd been very troubled during the week leading up the conference, and I confessed to my Pastor the day I left for Arizona that I was determined to come home from Phoenix with an answer one way or another.
There is a great worship song called, He knows My Name, and it's one of my favorites. God is a personal God, who collects our tears and numbers the hairs of our head, according to the Psalms. When I was in Phoenix, God knew what I needed, starting with a big slap upside the head. The very first speaker at the conferene challenged us to move on to the new thing God was promising us, to stop cowering in fear of other people's expectations, and to step out in faith to see the fulfillment of His plan for us. I felt so convicted, it was as if she was speaking directly to me. Throughout the rest of the weekend, God was working in my heart. On Friday, October 31, as the rest of the nation begged candy in costumes, I was at an altar with 300 women crying out to God, and God answered. I knew that the time had come for me to resign from my missionary career because God was calling me to something new, something different, something that would make me grow further into His ultimate design for me.
I use the word resign purposefully. I have not, nor will I ever, quit. I haven't quit loving the lost, whether they live in Palestine, Israel, or Anne Arundel County. I haven't quit doing the work of the Lord. I haven't quit the ministry or the anointing of the Holy Spirit. I haven't quit Jesus or my belief in His Gospel. I have merely changed geographic location.
There's no scandal, no deeper story. There's no failure on God's part--He provided the support I needed to go back on the field, and He opened doors for me during my entire itineration. With the exception of my foolish fears, I haven't failed either. I served faithfully in missions for twelve years, nine of them on the foreign field. I never lost my faith, my sanity, or my passport.
I appreciate the prayers of my family--those related by blood and those of the bond in Christ. I still need the Lord to complete the work He's doing in my life. I don't have all the answers, but that's okay. Walking in faith, not by sight, is the only exercise I'm getting these days!
I'm using it as a dicussion starter for today's blog post. I realize that some of the people who read this blog are all over the world and in almost 20 States in this country. Although some of you may not have heard my latest news, the word is spreading, as is evidenced by this email:
I had heard that you have left the mission field. I am writing to ask if you had returned to Israel and your reason for leaving the mission field? If you do not wish to share this information with me, I understand. Just know that you are still in my prayers. God Bless.
It's not the only feedback I've had lately. I've been messaged on facebook, called by friends, and had my immediate family approached by other people who are concerned about me.
I resigned from AGWM in November. It was my choice to resign, but it was the Spirit who lead me to make that decision. While people often question the "real" reason that I resigned, there is only ONE reason--that the Lord said it was time to do so.
For the past few months I had been feeling that God was going to take me in a different direction. It bothered me for weeks. I went through a struggle of not being sure it was truly God's voice I was hearing. I didn't want to mistake my own thoughts for God's; neither did I want to be tempted away from God's will by the Enemy. I fasted; I prayed. I tested and questioned the feeling I had for a long time. To my own shame, I admit that, for a while, I was too afraid of other people's reactions to talk to anyone about this matter. I regret now that I didn't have enough faith in the people of God, because I really needed counsel. I was able to talk to my immediate family and my pastor, but other than that, I was afraid.
I went to Phoenix for a conference on women in ministry, and I was desperate to hear from God. I'd been very troubled during the week leading up the conference, and I confessed to my Pastor the day I left for Arizona that I was determined to come home from Phoenix with an answer one way or another.
There is a great worship song called, He knows My Name, and it's one of my favorites. God is a personal God, who collects our tears and numbers the hairs of our head, according to the Psalms. When I was in Phoenix, God knew what I needed, starting with a big slap upside the head. The very first speaker at the conferene challenged us to move on to the new thing God was promising us, to stop cowering in fear of other people's expectations, and to step out in faith to see the fulfillment of His plan for us. I felt so convicted, it was as if she was speaking directly to me. Throughout the rest of the weekend, God was working in my heart. On Friday, October 31, as the rest of the nation begged candy in costumes, I was at an altar with 300 women crying out to God, and God answered. I knew that the time had come for me to resign from my missionary career because God was calling me to something new, something different, something that would make me grow further into His ultimate design for me.
I use the word resign purposefully. I have not, nor will I ever, quit. I haven't quit loving the lost, whether they live in Palestine, Israel, or Anne Arundel County. I haven't quit doing the work of the Lord. I haven't quit the ministry or the anointing of the Holy Spirit. I haven't quit Jesus or my belief in His Gospel. I have merely changed geographic location.
There's no scandal, no deeper story. There's no failure on God's part--He provided the support I needed to go back on the field, and He opened doors for me during my entire itineration. With the exception of my foolish fears, I haven't failed either. I served faithfully in missions for twelve years, nine of them on the foreign field. I never lost my faith, my sanity, or my passport.
I appreciate the prayers of my family--those related by blood and those of the bond in Christ. I still need the Lord to complete the work He's doing in my life. I don't have all the answers, but that's okay. Walking in faith, not by sight, is the only exercise I'm getting these days!
Comments
momabeam
--Ben